pecaspers: a Blog in transition

December 15, 2012

Prospective Pastor Questionnaire – Part 10

Filed under: Job Hunt,Ministry,My Life in General — pecaspers @ 11:21 AM
Tags: , , ,

10. How is your family involved in your ministry?

My wife is a tremendous help to me in all areas of my life including as a minister. She is a complement to me, making up for my failings and weaknesses. She helps me to keep our calendar in order, reminds me of tasks which need completing, remembers names and how people are related better than me, and fills in my gaps in a thousand other small ways. My wife is also a capable vocalist, pianist, teacher, childcare worker, missions advocate, organizer, and all-around awesome church member. However, her primary duties to me as my wife and to our children as their mother come miles before any expectation church members my attempt to place on her as the pastor’s wife. As an example, my son has RSV, a very contagious cold-like virus, and so my wife is missing our church Christmas play to stay home with him. Others can assist with the Christmas play, but Peter needs Mommy, and it helps me relax and do the work of ministry to know everything at home will be taken care of.

My son is also involved in my ministry even though he is only two years old. He regularly teaches me things about God as Father, Christians as His children, Jesus as His Son, human sinfulness, childlike faith, and more. I also get a boost of added likability in the eyes of everyone who knows him just because I’m his father. (He’s pretty much the best kid ever, and it’s likely my current church will miss him more than they’ll miss me.) One day, I’ll take Peter along with me on ministry errands and visits, but that’s at least a year or two down the road.

Both my wife and son also give me added legitimacy in my ministry. I understand why Paul tells Timothy overseers/pastors must able to manage their homes well with one wife and submissive children (1 Timothy 3:2-5). If you can’t cut it with your wife and kids, how could you hope to handle caring for God’s family? Having a wife gives women the reasonable confidence that I can relate to them. In sensitive issues, she is also capable of handling things that no man is wise or safe to address. Having a child puts me on the same team as other parents. Being married means I can speak with authority on married life. Being married also allows me to look back to my single days and speak with greater perspective to people still looking ahead to it. Beyond all that, my wife and son and daughter-on-the-way are constant reminders of my continued need for growth. To borrow a movie line, they make me want to be a better man. And that, of course, means that I’m a better follower of Christ and shepherd of His people because of them too.

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